Bisexual people are plain selfish.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
