I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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