O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
