That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
