I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize