Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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