Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
