..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
