perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
