i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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