Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
