I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize