I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
