I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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