Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
