? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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