YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
