I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
