just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
