So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
