So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
