Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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