based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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