Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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