We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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