Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
