the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
