It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
