can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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