Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I look better un-naked...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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