There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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