Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Randomize
