she woke up with a sticky ear
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
