i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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