Welp...herpes.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
