you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.