Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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