Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
