Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
