Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
