I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
