She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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