this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
where does the pee come out of this thing
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
