At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
