Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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