love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I touched a dick in church today
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
