I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Are we still banned from the library?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
