No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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