True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
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i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
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And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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