Sponge bath it is.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
