Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
