How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
