Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize