idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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