i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She just used a chaser for red wine.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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