Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Can I color on your dick again?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
