The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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