You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Randomize
