I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Randomize
