Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
