Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
