I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
