come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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