Already got asked if we're dating
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
